Forsaken
by mascaret
Summary: Set during Voldemort's first reign. We'd like to believe our heroes have ideals that they would never compromise, but the truth is everyone has a breaking point.
1. Default Chapter

A/N Thank you Maria for taking the time to beta this.

Warning: This work is entirely angst. Most of my other angst works temper the angst with a happy ending or a bit of comedy. This one is just straight angst.

"You do not seek to kill me, Dumbledore?" called Voldemort. "Above such brutality, are you?"

"We both know that there are other ways of destroying a man, Tom." Dumbledore said calmly. "Merely taking your life would not satisfy me, I admit-"

"There is nothing worse than death, Dumbledore!" snarled Voldemort.

"You are quite wrong," said Dumbledore.

Chapter 36, OOTP

Forsaken

Chapter One

Albus Dumbledore sat at his desk staring at the photograph of the Order of the Phoenix that Alastor Moody had confiscated earlier in the week. Lily and James Potter were smiling and waving. Caradoc Dearborn and Dorcas Meadowes had their glasses raised in a toast. Frank Longbottom had his arm around his wife, Alice. Elphias Doge looked about to be swallowed by his hat. Aberforth was looking…well Aberforthy.

From the excited, frolicking atmosphere of the photograph, the casual observer would likely never guess that those assembled were a secret society formed to counter the rising threat of a dark power.

There was only one hint that something might be wrong. Benjy Fenwick was off to one side, standing apart from the rest, stealing glances at them. He looked incredibly awkward, as if he didn't know what to do with himself. His sad, dazed look seemed out of place given the atmosphere of the others in the picture.

Benjy had died last night. He had been murdered by supporters of Lord Voldemort.

Albus' gaze remained on the photograph, but he wasn't really looking at it anymore. He was looking at the people who were not in the picture.

Two weeks before the picture had been taken by Remus and Sirius and promptly confiscated by Moody as evidence of exactly how 'foolhardy, careless, and just plain daft' that those two could possibly be, Artorius Fellmore had been killed, along with his wife and children.

Albus had known Artorius for more years than he could remember. He had gone to school with him. He had been best man at his wedding and stood godfather to his eldest child. His youngest would have started at Hogwarts next September…such a loss. Such a completely and totally unnecessary loss. As were all the losses in this war against a madman.

But the loss that really got to him, the one he still mourned more than a year later…

Albus opened a drawer in his desk and removed another, much older framed photograph. It was, or at least it was supposed to be, a celebratory picture. It was taken in the staff room during a small gathering to congratulate the school's transfiguration professor on her appointment to the position of Deputy Headmistress. When the picture was originally taken, Minerva McGonagall had been in front, alternatively smiling and cringing as he regaled the crowd with a joke about a troll, a hag, and a leprechaun going into a bar.

Summer before last, shortly after learning of her death in the attack outside St. Mungo's, he had taken out this same photo. Minerva had been sitting on one of the empty couches, her arms wrapped around herself and a shell shocked sort of look on her face. Occasionally she would turn to look at him with a heartrendingly imploring expression. Over time, she had begun to do that less and less.

It wasn't unusual for a portrait or a photograph to react that way. They were mere echoes, remnants of a person, but in some slight way they retained a connection to them. When that person died, that connection was severed. Given time, most portraits recovered well enough. No doubt in a few weeks Benjy would be back to his old self and in the mix of things in the Order photograph.

It weighed upon him that Minerva's picture had never regained that sense of self. Nowadays she remained in the background of the picture, gazing out the window. She no longer turned to look at his picture self, imploringly or otherwise.

Hearing the door adjoining his office and his private rooms open, Albus shifted some of the parchments on his desk, covering the picture.

"Albus, you can't keep working this late. You are going to make yourself ill. Come to bed."

One hand still resting on the pile, Albus tried to smile and sound convincing. "I will be joining you shortly."

Poppy gave a teasing frown. "You had better be. Unless you want the school nurse in here giving you a lecture on the importance of a full night's sleep."

His weak smile in place of a clever retort must have signaled to her something was not right.

There was no uncertainty in her question. "You're thinking of her again, aren't you?"

Poppy approached the desk. He didn't put up much resistance as she lifted the parchment away to reveal the photograph he had been trying to conceal. He tried to read her expression while looking at the photograph, but he couldn't. He reached for the picture, to put it away, but Poppy placed her hand over his. Their matching wedding bands made a slight clink as they touched.

Poppy spoke softly and with very little hesitation. "It's all right, Albus. She was your best friend; you miss her. It doesn't bother me. I miss her too."

Poppy stood the frame on his desk, next to some other photographs and trinkets. "Come to bed when you are ready."

She turned to head back to their private rooms. Standing, Albus took hold of her hand. "It's all right." He looked into her eyes before answering. "I am ready."


	2. Chapter Two

A/N Thank you Maria for making the time to beta this.

Forsaken Chapter 2

Albus Dumbledore sat across from Severus Snape, listening and observing as the young man detailed his activities since they had last met. Alastor Moody was nearby making notes of the things the young man said, leaving Albus free to fully concentrate on using his legilimency skills to ensure that their young spy was being entirely truthful.

"The Dark Lord's last brewer proved…unsatisfactory. He was in need of a new one and Lucius mentioned how well I did on my potion NEWTs when I was at Hogwarts…"

Severus had fallen in with a crowd of Lord Voldemort's supporters in his final year at Hogwarts. The boy had always had a strong dislike of muggles and at first the Death Eaters' ideals had appealed to him. However once he had a chance to experience firsthand the methods they used to achieve their ideals, Severus had had a change of mind. Or so he claimed.

"…He has taken me into his inner circle. Earlier this week he had Lucius bring me to his personal residence…"

He had secretly come over to their side some months ago and the information he had provided since had proved invaluable. Albus wholeheartedly wanted to believe the young man wished to renounce the ways of Voldemort, but he had to be sure. As a student, the boy had been naturally skilled at Occlumency and he had done much through the years to enhance his ability.

"…Lucius brought me there. The Dark Lord uses some sort of concealment charm. Lucius had to show me the address written on a piece of parchment before I could see the house. I tried to save the parchment to bring to you, but Lucius asked for it back. It would have seemed suspicious if I had refused. I…can't seem to recall what the paper said."

Albus reached into his mind. Normally despite the discomfort, Severus did his best to make things easy on both of them. Today however, Severus was being somewhat reticent. "You're curious about something, Severus. What is it?"

Severus shook his head. "It isn't something you would speak of."

Albus remained silent, allowing the uncomfortable quiet to compel Severus to speak again.

"You mentioned before that you wish to conceal the identity of your other spies from me. That way if I were discovered, I would not be able to give away the others."

This was true to Severus' knowledge. It was, however, not the truth. Several others had attempted to infiltrate Voldemort's organization on behalf of the Order. None, however, had been successful. In trying to analyze the differences between Severus and the numerous trained aurors who had failed, Albus had come to one conclusion: Voldemort had to be a Legilimens.

"I see. You believe you may have come across one of my other operatives."

Severus hesitated before speaking his mind. "I, like everyone else, had heard that Professor McGonagall had been killed, so naturally I was surprised to see her there. I wondered if she was there on your behalf or if she genuinely believes in the Dark Lord's…cause."

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A/N thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter. I would love it if you did so again. =)

For those wondering, the next chapter of Predictions, Misconceptions, & Transfigurations has been sent out for beta checking and should be up within a few days.


	3. Chapter Three

A/N Thank you Maria for beta checking this.

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            Normally Alastor took the notes and kept himself quiet during these sporadic meetings.  He didn't like Snape and he didn't trust him.  Bully for Albus if he wanted to believe in redemption and was willing to buy into Snape's repentant act.  But as far as Moody was concerned, repentant or not, Snape was still a Death Eater and the whole lot of them belonged in Azkaban. 

            When he thought about it, Snape's kind of Death Eater bothered him the most.  Say what you would about You-Know-Who and the rest of his followers, but at least they were working for a cause they believed in.  No such misplaced honor for Snape.  Snape had just gone along for the ride and when things started to get a little unpleasant, suddenly wanted off - or so he claimed.  Being too weak willed and weak stomached to handle the reality of what he had signed up for didn't make Snape any better than the other Death Eaters as far as Alastor was concerned.  Something of the opposite.

            And even if Snape was sincere and this eager to turn against You-Know-Who as soon as things got a little dirty, what did that say about his commitment to Dumbledore?  No, once a traitor always a traitor.  Snape would sell them all out at the first sign of trouble.  Moody had no doubt that Snape was up to no good.

            "I, like everyone else, had heard that Professor McGonagall had been killed so naturally I was surprised to see her there.  I wondered if she was there on your behalf or if she genuinely believes in the Dark Lord's…cause?"

            The silence that followed Snape's question was an answer in itself.  If Snape had any doubt, Alastor's question took it away.  "Are you sure?"

            Snape nodded to him, but Moody questioned him again.  "How can you be sure?"

            Snape glanced at the still silent Albus before answering.  "I did see her almost everyday for seven years."

Despite his reservations about the source of this information, Alastor couldn't keep himself from crying out.  "We have to get her back!"

He would have thought that Dumbledore would be right with him, but Dumbledore adamantly shook his head.  "It isn't really her.  It's a trick.  Voldemort must have discovered that you have betrayed him.  It's a trap."

Snape insisted, "It was her.  One doesn't forget _that_ temper easily."

Albus refused to concede.  "Minerva is dead.  Poppy was there.  She saw the Killing Curse used on her."

Snape looked slightly uncertain while speaking, not uncertain about his facts, but about the wisdom of challenging the word of Dumbledore's wife.  "Perhaps Madam Pomfr-Madame Dumbledore was mistaken."

Dumbledore didn't respond.  He turned away from them, towards the window.

Moody's mind was awhirl.  "We have to rescue her.  Obviously, she is being held there against her will."

Snape disagreed.  "I saw no evidence of that.  Quite the contrary..."  Snape looked as if he were about to say more, but instead he grabbed his forearm.  When he opened his mouth all that came out was a gasp.  "Gentlemen, I fear we must continue this discussion at another time."

Moody tried to get him to wait; these meetings were so irregular.  Dumbledore still said nothing.

Snape would not remain, but perhaps seeing the desperation in his eyes, he gave what little assurance he could.  "I will return in the morning.  If I can."

With Snape gone, Moody started to make plans aloud, but Dumbledore interrupted him.

"We need to find out where he's keeping her.  We need-"

"Minerva is dead.  Poppy told me.  She was there, she saw it happen.  This is another of Voldemort's tricks."

Alastor knew that Albus was almost certainly right.  "But if there's even a chance that she could be alive, don't we owe it to her to try to find out?"

Dumbledore continued to refuse the possibility.  "Minerva is dead.  She has to be."

Alastor was about to say something more, but seeing the look of anguish on his friend's face when he turned, he didn't have to.

"She has to be, because my gods if she isn't and I left her there with that monster all this time…"

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A/N Thank you my reviewers for your overwhelming response to the last chapter.  Please by all means, feel free to overwhelm me again!


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